* God has truly helped and guided me every step without me actively asking/ knowing. look at all the notes that have been made last year. i can use them for reference now, but when i’d written them out last year, i would not have known for what further purpose they would be other than the immediate use for that time of revision!
* Ø = Σ Cnøn
Høn = λnøn
wavefunction Ø – person i’ll be with in the end
eigenfunctions øn – different possible people i could be with
operator H – God’s will for me
this analogy is using the collapse of the wavefunction to describe how God’s will and intention for me brings a certainty in the outcome with respect to my life partner. i used to think there were many choices i had with regards to someone i could marry, but it kind of dawned on me that God has a perfect will for me, and in His perfect will, there are not many possible choices up to me to decide, but that He has already decided who is best for me! after measurement with God’s will, the wavefunction jumps into an eigenfunction, giving a definite particular result – ie
Ø --> øn
λ --> λn
P(λn) = 1
so there is a certainty of who i’ll be with as long as i measure it against God’s will :) if not, my future partner merely exists in a mish-mash of what ifs and maybes – superposition of eigenfunctions!
* my pride and my greed are 2 of the biggest sins in my life… remember my sin against p during the exam time when i took her milk without telling her and used it all up for making myself and another person tea, but none for p herself! it was condensed milk which actually karson had given her. thank You Lord for showing me through this incident the true ugly side of my greedy nature, and even after i tried to apologise to p and was feeling really bad the whole time, You showed me first and foremost that against You and You only (or firstly) have i sinned.. and that the unrest that i felt was due to the fact that i hadn’t confessed this sin to You on the spot yet… i was just involved in making p feel better…
* love: the overflow and expansion of joy in God, which gladly meets the needs of others (piper)..
compare 2 vessels – one deeper than the other… the deep vessel has a seemingly deeper hunger and need for God, takes time before God’s love overflows...the less deep one overflows more easily. which one is better? my cup runneth over.. i think they are just different…
* self-control: being capable of delay of self-gratification – say “no” to their own desires and hungers in order to serve a higher purpose or love another person. these are prerequisites of the ability to love (1 thess 4:3-7)
* do you love to worship or do you worship to love? in desiring to enter into a deeper communion with God, we will want to worship God and taken into the holy of holies, and in so doing of course we would love to worship! but in loving to worship, we could miss the whole point of loving God in the equation…Lord, pls help me to avoid that pitfall… You and You only first! help me to worship You in Spirit and in truth…
* wrestling prayer vs prevailing prayer & clinging faith… let me not wrestle, instead lay down my will in the prayers i make… Abraham didn’t wrestle in bringing Isaac to the altar (genesis 22)… in a way Jacob wrestled, but it came to a point where he was disabled in the hip joint, and couldn’t overpower the angel of the Lord, or God Himself, so he clung onto Him til He agreed to bless him (genesis 32)… in the same way, when i pray, let me know i’m at God’s disposal and ultimately God’s way reigns… let me cling onto His promises in humility and submission, but not in authority over God, thinking i can wrestle my way through to see my ends being met…
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