dear Lord,
thank You for the sharing i had with sue-anne and carlsen yesterday.. all the pent-up emotions and tears over my failure as a teacher in school..
everybody wants to feel good about their own achievements or at least have something to hold on to to call your own.. i realise that though i have low self-esteem, seemingly not claiming glory for myself, and attributing my place in gep as Your grace - yet i know deep inside (and i'm ashamed that i didn't confess this to sue-anne and carlsen) that there is pride in the achievements i had still made during my studying days.. false pretense.. fake humility.. forgive me Lord..
a broken and contrite spirit You will not despise.. thank You Lord..
pls break me to realise my utter brokenness and nothingness without you... apart from You i can do nothing.. i rejoice in my weakness, for when i am weak, then You are strong..
i need to learn to love myself for who You have made me to be... not comparing with others who are nicer/ more approchable/ funnier/ more fun to be with... Lord, thank You for iris - that You have revealed my utter insecurity and hidden envy at how popular she is with the students.. yet the envy is rooted in self-hate rather than hate for iris.. teach me to accept my weaknesses, yield them to You and receive healing and moulding from You.. i will continue to be who i am, not try to be someone i'm not..
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