my kids in my form class hate me.. i know that loving them means i cannot give up on them, and cannot be indifferent as my colleagues urge me to.. so loving them doesn't only mean encouraging them, but also means disciplining them when necessary... yet i know i have not been disciplining them out of pure concern for them to learn and mature in character..
Lord there is a part of me that is such a sticker for rules, that i'm just uncomfortable when there is non-conformity and i can't let such behaviour pass without feeling a nagging sense of guilt... so my discipline is borne out of duty and obligation to uphold rules, rather than seeing the purpose behind.. Lord grant me wisdom in discipline.. to choose appropriate measures that deal with the core of the issue... i remember my behavioural problems course i took at nie.. there was always the reminder that family background and personal problems attributed largely to behavioural problems at school...
so with those like et, sh, ev, el, ma, se and yi, what are their problems? Lord pls grant me insight and sensitivity and a heart malleable in Your hands to love them.. it's hard to trust them when they seem to be full of excuses.. sigh.. but the wisdom from heaven is first of all pure, then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of good fruit and mercy, impartial and sincere. Lord, teach me not to hold on to biased opinions even though the student's repeated behaviour has made it seem like a character trait.. teach me to separate the behaviour from the value of the person, that i will not think any less of that person's soul, though he/she irritates me so...
on the other side, i really wanna give thanks for the refining you brought me through with regards to my normal class.. thank You for somewhat improved relationships with some of them.. and thank You for helping me with dealing with na and ho.. thank You for ho's receptivity.. please grant me patience with na.. thank You...
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