It is no coincidence that 7 years later, I sense a call to pick up from what God had been doing back there.. as if I have had a necessary detour in the past 7 years to experience many challenges and transitions but also many breakthroughs and a constant abiding faithfulness of God through it all. But the call to intimacy and creativity is still very much there and the Lord has gifted me with the resources to quit from my work at my one and only employer in all 18 years of my professional life so far. As of 2020, I have completed the 3 major transitions out of contexts that have governed my identity - family of origin (moved out from mother's place in 2013 to stay on my own and got married in 2018), spiritual family (changed church in 2016 and officially changed membership in 2020) and work family (resigned wef 30 Sep 2020, with my last work posting of 12 years being a precious place of wonderful supportive colleagues, and where many treasured friendships have been formed). The key identity to really grow deeper in is as a beloved of God.
In the past 2 months of clearing leave and being officially unemployed, it feels like baby steps of getting back to doing things that bring me joy and interest - creating beauty through simple home deco, growing plants, and more recently redsigning this blog. The relational part of journeying with friends is still there, although I'm also learning more of how desperately lacking I am in patience, love and grace; if this journeying is what God has called me to, I surely need His full constant equipping and empowering.. to know how to draw emotional boundaries and not take responsibility for their life choices that seem to be unhelpful for their recovery. As the Lord is teaching me to build in disciplines in my personal time with Him, expanding worship and prayer time, learning to pray on the go, I feel that this is a critical season to establish these before the next job that I'm seeking to find in the social service sector. Since Vancouver days, I have had the sense of moving to work with adults with mental health issues (not so much the elderly, but more middle-aged ones who feel keenly the impact of their mental health on their ability to work and sustain relationships). But I leave God to guide my steps one at a time, as I also make sense of how other strands of growth in inner healing, intercessory prayer, and worship music might dovetail with this aspect.
As I seek direction for the future, together with my husband K, may this time of rest be a bedrock from which God grows new life, both literally as we ask for (two) child(ren), and in new ways of living and trusting God for the future in the midst of ever-growing uncertainties in our world.
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